Precious Second Chances-Who Deserves one?

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Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

I’m assuming this week’s blog hop question refers to personal relationships. So, here we go.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.

Maya Angelou

We miss you Lady Maya!

The idea of second chances can fill people with a sense of hope. All doesn’t have to be a loss. As a romance author, I’m a huge fan of books with a second chance at love plot.  Heck, a lot of my stories feature one or both protagonists stepping back up to the plate to give love another try.


And…cue in the crappy metaphor.

The thing is, those are made up people with characteristics that I design in them to ensure the required romance HEA (Happily-Ever-After). With real people, it’s much more of a gamble to trust again. Hence, Maya’s famous quote.

People rarely change and will adjust how they treat you even more infrequently. So, whenever someone screws up, there are a few things to consider before allowing them a second chance.


Relationship Length

I past the 40-year mark a little while ago. One thing I learned when reaching such a significant age milestone is that I don’t have the time, patience or inclination to tolerate new people coming into my life and pissing all over it.

People who’ve built positive, lasting relationships deserve a second chance. If they’ve proven that their messing up was an isolated thing and are ready to improve, then it’s worth preserving a good thing.

Warning! The mistake might be revealing that the relationship is on the decline. In that case, it may be time to stop giving the person chances.

If the relationship is new and the mistake major, take a cue from Maya. Tell them to step, or at least feed them with a long spoon. It’ll save a lot of headache, heartache and frustration.


The severity of the Blunder

Human beings make mistakes—a lot of them—like every day. How bad is what the person did and does it have long-term negative effects? Is it merely a faux pas or catastrophic?

It’s all relative. For me, loyalty is critical, and I’m quick to kick a person to the curb for even a minor breach of trust. Others may be more tolerant, so it’s important to make sure the mistake is something that can be overlooked before giving anyone another opportunity.


The Potential for a Repeat

We are all creatures with bad habits and irksome personality traits. Some of them may be dangerous as well.

Is the error isolated or a result of the person’s character? Basically, what is the likelihood that the botcher will rinse and repeat?

If the mistake is one of many and demonstrates a pattern of behavior, consider shutting that mess down before suffering further damage. No one deserves a second chance to trample on lives. Save yourself!

Second chances are precious. Be mindful to whom you give them.

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